padparadscha's story chp 1

'The little mute girl' is what they used to call me...

I had no family at all. When I was five years old, I watched my family die. I was helpless, huddled in a corner, a five-year-old pile of rags and tears. I could still hear them laughing in my dreams, even as old as I am now. They laughed when my family died, a cold, dry laugh of sadism. My heart wrenched at the sound, and my voicebox shut off. From then on, I didn't speak. I didn't want to speak. I buried myself in my sorrow and remained there, giving no indication whether I was listening to you or not.

I was kept in an orphanage. It was a cruel place, full of jeering children and indifferent adults. People laughed at me becuase I was mute. My only friend was taken to an abusive family, and she screamed for me to help her. I couldn't. I opened my mouth to scream to her, to tell her I loved her... and no sound came out. I stood there, struggling against the adults who held me back, tears pouring down my face... and I couldn't tell her I loved her. My heart was ripped to shreds again, and I didn't look at anyone the rest of the time I was there. I led a bleak childhood, full of sadness... and unbearable pain.

I was juggled from one 'family' to another.They didn't have the time or patience to deal with an anti-social mute girl. I caused too many problems. Either the parents were always working, or they had a big enough family as it is.  My foster-parents were always harsh with me, and always yelled at me whenever I did something wrong. But their children were little angels, and the parents didn't care what they did. I was always beat upon by those kids, sometimes right in front of the parents, and they didn't do anything...

they didn't care about 'the little mute girl'...

to be continued, 'hos.